Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Shephard’s Pie, but not really. I mean sort, of but not.

I don’t know what the hell to call this. But I do know that the meat you cooked up and put in the freezer from a previous post is waiting for you, right? Did you keep your panties on long enough to wait for this recipe? I hope so. I’d hate to think you went to Target without panties. Or maybe you like doing that. Or maybe you like wearing your slippers there like I do. Or maybe you wish SuperTarget had a liquor store. Just me? No?

The good news is that it took me about four minutes to put this meal together. Why? Because I prepared myself bitches. That’s right. Took that shit right out of the freezer and I was ready to bring it.

Shit you’re gonna need:

1 pound of already cooked up ground beef (if you were a genius like me, you’d already have some in the freezer, so heat that shit up in the micro)

1 can of beef gravy (no joke here, just a can of beef gravy)

Half a bag of frozen veggies (I used a bad ass combo of peas, carrots and then a half bag of corn. You can’t screw this shit up, trust me)

Bisquick (I keep a huge ass box of this shit on hand at all times. My southern ancestors would shit themselves if they saw this. I was raised to make biscuits from scratch. But THEY didn’t have their facebook status to keep up with. I got shit to DO people)

Milk (it’s to make the biscuit dough with)

Shredded cheese (‘bout a cup will do ya’, but you use how much you want. Don’t be whining to me when you can’t squeeze your ass into a new pair of jeans)

Baking dish (okay, size does matter in this case. I used a 9x9 oval baker. It’s enough so that it’s hot and thick all the way through. Wait…what was I talking about?)

Shit you're gonna do:

Preheat the oven to 450. Spray your baking dish with non-stick spray. Again, I buy that shit in bulk, because the hubs will be pissed at me when he cleans out the fridge to find nine day old shephard’s pie and he can’t get all the shit out of the dish because I’m the asshole who forgot the spray. But you do what works for your family.

Next, mix your cooked ground beef, your can of gravy and your veggies all together in a big happy bowl and take notice that you’ve made a concoction that looks pretty close to dog food. After those ingredients are mixed and in love with each other, pour it into your sprayed pan and spread it around evenly and set it aside.

Now you’re gonna do what I’ve been taught to never ever ever to do. Make biscuit dough from bisquick. I don’t see what the damn difference is. That shit makes bad ass biscuits and quick I might add. Hence the name bis-quick. I’m sure there’s a book out there of 101 things to make from bisquick and I’m surprised I haven’t found it yet. I’ve bought every other crazy ass cookbook out there. I even have the twinkie cookbook. But that’s a story for a different day. Let’s move on. You’re gonna use the recipe on the box for nine biscuits. It’s gonna be 2 ¼ cups of mix and 2/3 cup of milk. Mix it together and then go wash your hands because I’m sure you picked your nose or petted the dog or something while I’m trying to explain this shit to you. So go ahead, I’ll wait.

You done? Good. Make a little two inch ball of dough and then flatten it. Lay it down on top of the ground beef/dog food concoction. Repeat this step and connect all the pieces like a big ass doughy puzzle. I know I’m an ass at explaining this, so see the picture below. And do you notice anything? You can see both of my pale ass hands! The hubs was more than willing to give me a hand as long as I gave him one…wink wink.

After you’ve pieced your dough puzzle together, you’re gonna bake this for about 20-25 minutes. Here’s the kicker…ya’ gotta throw on the cheese when you’ve got about 10 minutes left of cooking time. So, here’s the math for ya’, set your timer for 15 minutes. Open the oven, pull out the dish, sprinkle on the cheese and then put the dish back in the oven, close the door and set your timer for 10 more minutes. And you’re done!!! Btw, this shit is GREAT for leftovers. Just ask the hubs.

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