Monday, October 18, 2010

Brett Fava Beans and Rice

Fucking love beans. Pour that shit over rice and I’m all over that like a homeless man on a half eaten hot dog. I also saw Brett Favre’s Green Bay Pecker and immediately craved sausage…with beans and rice.

Shit you’re gonna need:

One bag of red beans (One of those bags of Goya will do you good. You find generic? Go for it cheap ass. I’m right there with ya’)

A big ass bowl

2 tablespoons of vegetable oil

1 teaspoon of salt (I’m not gonna comment on your sodium levels or anything, but you’re probably gonna need more than that. Wait until the end when you’re shit’s all done and you can really judge the flavor. Keep your panties on and keep the salt in the jar.)

1 teaspoon of pepper

1 teaspoon of dried oregano (yes, I know it’s a lot, but so were Mel Gibson’s rants but it was ultimately worth it)

1 onion (chop that shit up baby!)

1 Green Bay pepper (chop that shit up too!)

1 horseshoe shaped sausage (that ekrich shit is what I’m talking about)

Shit you’re gonna do:

Alright, you’re gonna need to Minnesoak your beans in a Super Bowl. Overnight. Trust me on this. Don’t do that whole “boil in hot water for two hours” shit. How fucking hard is it to sit this shit in a bowl while you sleep? Nada. Moving on…

Once you wake up and have your cup of coffee…or four, drain and rinse your beans. Personally, after I do that, I put that quarterback in the fridge because I’m not ready to cook those fuckers yet. So, let’s hop into the DeLorean and fast forward to 2pm.

Put your beans in a big ass pot and cover those little boogers with about 2 inches of water. Add your seasonings and your onion and pepper and bring to a boil. Once it boils, all ya gotta do is just bring it back down to a simmer and let it sit until about 5pm. You’ll need to stir it every time you pour yourself another glass of wine (or maybe that’s just me). At 5…chop up your sausage in little ¼ inch pieces and throw it in. It’s already cooked and it has a lot of salt in it, so now would be the time to taste your seasonings. So get your groove on that salt if you need more.

For the rice part, I honestly use that 5 minute quick boil shit. 1 cup of water equals cup of rice. In five minutes, that shit’s done.

Hubs said the little bean fuckers tasted like peanuts. And that’s a good thing considering he can eat his body weight in “side of the road” boiled peanuts. But so can I.

NF”hell yeah!”