Friday, February 12, 2010

Are you shitting me right now? No. But I will be after I eat this.

Does anyone else use the recipes on the side of Campbell’s soup cans? I want to be the person who sits down at the computer at the Campbell’s soup company and starts their day by saying to themselves “hmmm, what are the shittiest foods ever made and how can I get them into a can? And how can I mix them all together and get toddlers and truck drivers to eat them?”

Cheeseburger Pasta

Shit you're gonna need:

1 lb of ground beef (I used the package I had in the freezer labeled “I prepared myself bitches”. It’s all cooked and ready to feed the crazies in my house yelling at me that they’re hungry.)

1 can of cheddar cheese soup (you can use Campbell’s if you’d like. But those bitches aren’t paying me to put this on my blog, so you use generic if you want. The only reason I probably had the name brand shit is because it was a bogo or I had a coupon and it was cheaper than generic. That’s right people, not only am I an uneducated redneck, I’m cheap too. Go figure.)

1 can of beef broth (read above for generic vs. name brand)

1 ½ cups of water (please tell me you already have this)

½ cup ketchup (please tell me you have this shit too. If you have kids in the house and you pop frozen chicken nuggets in the microwave to stop the “I’M HUNGRY” noise, then you probably have ketchup. If not, use the packets from McDonald’s that have been in your fridge since the last time you got shnonkered and went through the drive thru at 1am)

2 cups of uncooked pasta (the recipe called for medium shell pasta, but I buy generic, so it just says “Pasta” on it and underneath it says “Pastas” which I assume is in Spanish. So, thank you Wal-mart. Thank you for teaching me all the Spanish I need to know.)

Shit you’re gonna do:

If the beef you have is cooked, literally put all this shit in a pot that'll hold it all, bring it to a boil, then cover and let it simmer for about 10 min until the pasta is done. If you’re meat isn’t cooked. Just brown that shit up and then pour in the rest of the crap and let it cook for 10 min or until it’s done. Seriously. That’s it. Fucking easy, right?! And you can eat this shit for days. And you’ll become “regular” in 7.4 minutes after eating it.


  1. what's it taste like? Sounds yucky! Damn Campbell's soup weirdos

  2. its like... white trashier than Hamburger Helper!

  3. Hell to the Yeah, Lea!!!! I'll wash this shit down with my Natty Light.