Chinese Coleslaw (stick your chopsticks up your ass, you won't need 'em)...guest blogger bitches!

Okay, before you read on, I just have to say that I met one badass girl tonight. Put your hands together mother effers for my new BFF, "L". Swear to the twinkie gods, this bitch is cool. She's a fan of the blog and first and foremost, the bitch will drop an F bomb within four minutes of meeting her. My asshole puckered a little bit. Sa-weet. So glad I met her, and totally excited that we got drunk together. Here's to you "L", you're a badass! Smooches!!

And now...for our guest blogger..."H". This bitch is hilarious. She had me cracking up from the first five minutes of meeting her around a bonfire in Ohio in June. Only in fucking Ohio can you have a bonfire in June. It's 121 degrees in Florida at 8:00pm in June. There's no fucking way you want to go near anything that's hot. Especially fire. But we drank sweet tea vodka, laughed our asses off and I can't wait to get back up there to hang with her. Cheers "H"...miss you and "A" a hell of a lot. Now here's her fucking recipe.

Chinese Coleslaw

This shit is good slop! Gotta try it. Kids look at it and say eww gross I ain't eating that. Here is the recipe for Chinese Coleslaw. Easy shit to throw together....

Shit ya need:
Bag of slaw mix or 1 head of cabbage shredded (owner's side note: who the hell has time to shred fucking lettuce, buy the bag assholes)
4 green onions chopped
1 package of sliced almonds
3 tbsp. sunflower seeds browned in ½tsp butter
after seeds have cooled mix all of the above together

you'll also need chicken flavored ramen noodles; these go on before serving. (owner's side note: bitches, I went to college, I lived off ramen noodles. love that shit.)

Dressing:
1 cup vegetable oil
1 cup sugar
1 package chicken ramen seasoning
6 tbsp. rice wine vinegar
shake all above together (owner's side note: "shake...that...ass for me...shake that ass for me." yeah, I had a smidge of vodka tonight. Don't hate mofo's)

When ready to serve - break up ramen noodles over slaw. Pour dressing on top; mix and serve.

Hope ya like it. Good shit and good for your shitter too.

(I love you "H"...you're a badass)