Shit you're gonna need:
1 can of crescent rolls (I really do use the generic ones and they work fine, so save yourself $0.30)
3 tablespoons of pesto (I open up the ready made kind in a jar and then use it over hot pasta the next day)
4 oz. of cream cheese, softened (that's half a package for you math wizards out there)
*side note. I NEVER remember to lay the cream cheese out to soften it on the counter. I've got other shit on my mind like resolving world peace or actually having the time to fold the damn laundry before it gets cold and wrinkled. So, I warm it in the microwave until it's soft. Sue me if you think I'm wrong here.
Shit you're gonna do:
Preheat the oven to 375. Mix together the cream cheese and pesto and put it aside. Spray a baking sheet with non-stick spray (I swear I buy that shit in bulk). Roll out the crescent rolls without ripping them. I say that because I always rip at least one and if I don't tell you not to rip one, I'm hoping you don't. And I don't want you pissed at me because you ripped one and you feel like you're the only one in the world that's ever ripped a fucking crescent triangle. You're not and I still love you. There. So, slice each triangle lengthwise down the middle so you're making one triangle into two. Spread the mixture on each triangle and starting at the big end, roll it up like a fat doobie and bake for about 18 minutes. Yes, I said "doobie" and "bake" in the same sentence.