Friday, January 22, 2010

My kids won't eat shit. Part Uno.

Not that I'm a bad cook. 'Cause I'm not. I'm a mother fucking GREAT cook... most nights. But I'm absolutely positive that there's some gene out there that each kid gets that tells them to hate everything their parents cook for them (I'm sure this gene is handed down from their father, because I'M perfect). Call me crazy but if I were a kid (which I actually used to be), hell yeah I'd rather eat something that a clown with a red wig and a yellow suit is selling me than eat the shit that has names like, Brussels sprout and pork chop. Over processed chicken nuggets that come with a soda and a Shirt Tales toy is the way to go when you're nine with underdeveloped taste buds. But let's move on...

This idea comes straight from the pages of Family fun magazine. I love that effing magazine. I look at it each month and say "oh snap, we need to do that!" But yeah, only about two things get done from each issue. But anyhoo...

Shit you'll need:
Hot dogs (don't worry, I'm not gonna judge you on the shitty hot dogs you put in front of your kids. You buy whatever you want.)
Spaghetti (you need the regular kind. A friend of mine used angel sucked ass and fell apart)

Shit you're gonna do:
Boil some water. Don't use a small saucepan like I did. I had to stand there like a dumbass and keep pushing the freakin' noodles down until they were soggy enough to stay down on their own. While the water is starting to boil, cut up your hot dogs in half inch bites. Now, don't get on my ass about the size of the pieces in the picture. Just be happy there's a picture you picky ass people who are judging me. (And yes Mom...that's the knife you got me. See? I really DO use it, now get off my ass about it, love you!)

Then slide about 4 to 5 spaghetti pieces through each piece. (btw, what the hell am I wearing that's SO important that I can't push up my sleeve for you all. man, that's lazy.)

Boil for about 10 minutes or whatever your cheap ass box of spaghetti says. Drain and serve!
And honestly, I put a smidge of butter with Parmesan cheese on it for a little more flavor. They love it. Really, they do. THIS shit they'll eat!