Shit you’re gonna need:
4 oz. of cream cheese (Don’t shit yourself here, but you don’t actually have to lay this out to soften. It’s a tiny miracle.)
1 stick of butter (I’m gonna change my middle name to “butter”. Rosita Butter Gonzalez. It’s gotta nice ring to it.)1 ½ cups of flour (Now, if you live in flamingo, palm tree hell where I do, you’re probably gonna need about 2 cups here. Fucking humidity.)
Shit you’re gonna pull out of some dusty ass cabinet that you never use:
Rolling pin (Wood is my favorite. ‘Cause I like wood. I’m a wood snob.)
2 sheets of waxed paper (You probably don’t have any. I didn’t. I hate when I have to buy special shit. But trust me, it makes this so much easier to accomplish)Pie tin (I have some expensive pampered chef one that I got for my wedding and I love it with all my heart. But I honestly pull that shit out like, 5 times a year. At the most. So, use a disposable one if you want. No judgment here.)
Shit you’re gonna do:Preheat your oven to 350. Cream together your cream cheese and butter. And here’s my little tid bit about this. You’ll need to kinda keep things cold here so it’s easier to roll out as well as keep the crust flaky. (Cold and flaky. Kinda like an ex boyfriend.) So, I actually put the bowl that I’m mixing this shit in, in the refrigerator for about 15 minutes before making this.
When you’ve got your desired size, peel off that top layer of wax paper and turn your pie plate upside down on top of the dough. Then very very carefully, hold on to the bottom wax paper and the pie tin and flip it over. Peel off the paper, gently tap down the crust into the pie tin, and make your edges somewhat presentable. Voila. Easy as shit, right? Right. Now poke holes in the bottom of the crust with a fork so that the shit doesn’t shrink while it’s cooking and then pop that bitch in the oven for about 10 minutes. Then fill the crust with whatever the hell you want and continue baking until your filling is done. Yes, you can put aluminum foil around the edges of the pie halfway through cooking to prevent it from getting overly brown and crispy, but honestly, I didn’t. But you do whatever tickles your fancy.