Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Pink Taco Pizza

Friend: “What recipe are you posting next?”

Me: “Pink taco pizza.”

Friend: “That’s my favorite kind.”

Me: “You’ve had pink taco pizza?”

Friend: “Nope. I stopped listening after ‘pink taco’.”

I’ve got good friends.

Shit you’re gonna need:

1 lb. of ground beef

Taco seasoning (you can buy the premeasured packets, but I have a jar of the premade concoction. That’s how much I use it. So, if you have the jar, use the measurement they give you. I would give it to you, but what’s the point? You’ll look at the jar anyways. So, why should I get my fat ass off the couch to go look.)

Pizza crust (As you can see in the picture, I used the Pillsbury premade stuff. It’s easy, but not cheap. Kinda like an exgirlfriend.)

Can of refried beans (You’re more than welcome to use fat free, but why? You’re using sour cream and cheese, what the hell would make the difference if you used fat free beans? Think you’ll save an artery? Not a chance.)

Cheese (I would suggest using the taco flavored kind, or a Mexican blend of some sort. Gouda won’t work here, people.)

Shredded lettuce


‘bout half a cup of sour cream

Cholula hot sauce (You can find this in the Mexican food aisle. There’s a picture of a hot Mexican lady on it. Kinda like the Chiquita banana chick.)

Shit you’re gonna do:

Preheat your oven to 425. Spread out your pizza dough into a rectangle on an aluminum foil lined pan hosed down with kitchen ky and bake for about eight minutes.

While that’s getting half baked (don’t worry pot heads, we’ll get this shit fully baked in no time), brown your meat, drain and rinse and then put in back in your skillet and add your taco seasoning with HALF the water it suggests you use. You don’t want this watery and getting all gushy on your pizza dough.

When your dough is half baked, spread on your refried beans. Honestly, I have about ¼ of the can left when I do this. If beans are your thing, then slather it on. You can dutch oven your kids when dinner is over. Not that I do that or anything. Moms don’t fart.

After your beans, add your meat and cheese and then bake for another 8-10 minutes or so. While this is cooking, you’ll need to make your pink sauce. Start with about half a cup of sour cream and add your Cholula sauce until it’s pink. But if you’re a wuss and you can’t handle hot, I would keep checking to make sure it doesn’t get too spicy for you. But for me? I have balls, so I keep my shit spicy. Like all Mexican women should be.

(white alien looking arm...niiiiiiiiiiice)

When your pizza is done baking, add your lettuce and tomato…please notice that only half of my pizza has tomato on it because the boyfriend doesn’t like tomato. No problem. Less for me to cut and more for me to eat. I’m a good girlfriend like that.

Now add your sauce. I would just drizzle it on in a zig zag motion and then keep enough on the side for dipping. LOVE to dip. I’m a total dipper. Skinny dipper, sauce dipper, whatever…

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