Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Boston Creme Cupcakes. Can I get a "hell yeah!"?

You will shit yourself how easy and how much “cheating” is involved in this. I remember seeing this somewhere on some new mommy show when my seven year old was two months old, screaming at 1am and spewing up $33 a can formula across my living room. Did I mention it was 1am? Did I mention he had acid reflux and colic? Did I mention that the hubs and I swore that we wouldn’t have anymore? Let me remind you that we in fact DID have another one. On purpose. But this is a cooking blog. “Just get to the recipe woman.” I hear ya’…

Shit you’re gonna need:

1 box of yellow cake mix (You’re more than welcome to slave in the kitchen and use the recipe you got from your bridal shower from your cousin’s mother in law. Knock yourself out. Won’t make a difference. I used a box mix because I didn’t have any vanilla extract and I stocked up on boxes of $0.76 betty crocker mixes at WalMart 4 months ago. Woot.)

You’ll also need the shit that makes the cake, eggs, oil and water

1 box of instant vanilla pudding mix (Yes my friends, this is the “cream”. My secret ingredient. Don’t be disappointed. It rocks.)

1 ½ cups of milk (the package is gonna tell you that you’ll need 2 cups. Don’t listen to them. You want your pudding thick. Thicker is better ;)

6 oz. of semi sweet chocolate chips (It’s about half a bag or ¾ of a cup)

½ cup of heavy cream

Shit you’re gonna do:

Make your vanilla pudding ahead of time. I think it takes about 3 or 4 hours to chill in the fridge. But you’ll just whisk together your mix and your milk for about 2 minutes. I have one of those bad ass stand mixers and that bitch has yet to fail me. That thing rocks.

Next make your cupcakes as directed on the package. I baked 12 at a time at exactly 18 minutes and they were perfect. Don’t attempt to fill these boogers with cream until the cupcakes are cooled down. Won’t work. Shit will be melty.

Once the cakes are cooled you’re gonna need to set up your “cream injector”. I’m not sure what else to call it, I know it sounds reeeeeeal bad. You’ll need a Ziploc bag and a coupler and decorator tip. (see picture below). Do you have one of those? If not, keep your panties on, just snip off a little corner of your Ziploc bag. You’ll be fine.
To help your cream along it's little tunnel of love, take a toothpick, push it down about 3/4 of the way and sort of wiggle it around making a hole for your tip to go in (BAH!).

WARNING!!!!!! Explicit photo!!!!!!
Yes, I know this looks bad, but if you don't have a decorator tip thingy, use your finger to sort of make a bigger hole. Not too big. You don't want it stretched out. Damn this is all sounding so bad and I'm totally not meaning to. But let's carry on...

Once you have your hole, punch down your tip and as you squeeze the cream in, pull out slowly so that it'll push those little cake particles around and fill with cream. Sweet Mary Mother of God that is extremely dirty. Sorry 'bout that. Actually, I'm not really sorry. It's funny as hell.
Now, you'll have a little bit of pudding left on top of each cupcake when you're done. No problem, take your finger and slurp that shit up. I don't recommend that procedure if you're sharing these cupcakes so use a paper towel to take off the excess and make the top smooth.

It's time to make the frosting! Or ganache if you're fancy and from Europe or something. I'm not, I grew up in a trailer and you don't even want to know how "us folks" would pronounce something like "ganache". Nor would you want to know what we would think it was. Shout out to my redneck family - holla!!!! But I digress...

Heat up your cream in a sauce pan until you start to see it bubbling. Don't boil it. Just heat it up until it coats the back of a spoon. Once it's hot, pour it over your chocolate chips that are in a bowl and whisk it until it's all combined. You'll have the urge to stick your face and there and lick it all out. But I don't recommend that...just yet. You'll have some leftover, so control yourself until the end.

You can pour the chocolate on top - but honestly, that makes one fucking mess. Just dip the top of your cupcake in the chocolate and then set it aside. Again, you'll have extra, so once you're done, lick away my friend...lick away.

Btw, that leftover chocolate will become thicker after you put it in the fridge, so dip immediately after melting and save the leftover to dip your strawberries in the next day. And I'll wait for to call me after you make these and say thank you. I can wait.



  1. Holy Shit! Been waiting for this post since the facebook pictures. Going to make these tomorrow for the Hubs and hopefully it will get me a little "action" if ya know what I mean!!

  2. I'm checking back to see if you got your "action", LOL!

  3. Totally worth filling that hole with cream... Liked it so much I made/did "em" twice!!!